


Hylia Does Arson(or at least attempts it)

by EggBatRobin20



Series: Hylia, Goddess of Chaos [1]
Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, botw - Fandom
Genre: Gen, My First Work in This Fandom, Oh My God, SHE IS A CHAOTIC GREMILIN AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL, hylia is a brat, seriously guys this is entirely self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23077612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggBatRobin20/pseuds/EggBatRobin20
Summary: This is a snippet of a possible series I kinda want to do? An exploration of my own personal headcannons for Hylia's personality, history, and of course her relationship with the boys. Completely unbeta'd, we die like men.
Series: Hylia, Goddess of Chaos [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681186
Comments: 13
Kudos: 83





	Hylia Does Arson(or at least attempts it)

Wild could easily say that, for all its dangers, his own Hyrule was his favorite. Not that he didn’t enjoy visiting the others- although Legend and Hyrule’s homes sucked in very particular ways- only, he preferred the open air, the silence, and, occasionally, the ease of using fire to set a field of monsters ablaze.

Yes, he recognized he might have a slight obsession. 

To be fair saying “I was just born this way!” was beginning to hold more weight after recent events. Hylia had continued to gleefully smash all their expectations of the light goddess to smithereens, and he was beginning to suspect she knew exactly how much she was fucking with them. It’s what he would do, in her place.

So he really should’ve seen it coming. And warned Zelda a bit more thoroughly. Ah well- there’s no accounting for goddesses-turned-feral-mortals was there.

\- 0 -

Warriors was dying. He couldn’t even muster up his usual disgust of traitors he was laughing so hard. For all the problems this entire situation was causing, he was genuinely happy that Hylia was with them, if only for how much she drove Time, Legend, and Twilight insane with her antics. Warriors was beginning to understand why all of the heroes had such terrible self-preservation instincts; if this was the goddess left in charge of picking a hero, yeah, dumb stunts made a lot more sense now.

However, none of them quite expected her reaction to finally meeting one of wild’s Yiga clan. Her insults continued to surprise, and even he had never thought to take out an enemy quite like that . . .

\- 0 -

Earlier that day, in Kakariko . . .

As Wild and Zelda walked up towards the shrine by the village, he did his best to recount his adventures with the other heroes, and especially their newest companion. Explaining that Hylia was traveling with them and apparently mortal was . . a trip. Zelda had been practically bouncing with excitement over all the history she could potentially learn from his friends, but at the mention Hylia had begun to tense up. Wild placed a hand over hers, gently separating her twisting fingers.

“Zelda, I promise she’s not scary. Like, at all. Actually she can be a bit immature.”

Zelda scrunched her nose, and shot him a nervous smile. “I understand, it’s only . . . Link I prayed for so long. I’ve always wanted to know why she took so long to answer, but now that I can actually ask her-”

“You’re scared to find out.” Zelda nodded. “Well, I can’t predict her answer, but we’ve all learned that Hylia isn’t nearly as omnipotent as she seems; I wouldn’t be surprised if she couldn’t help, or if her help did come, but not in a recognizable way. I honestly can’t say.” Wild tried to assure her.

“I mean, there’s a high chance she’ll tackle you, but she tends to be a bit random.” Zelda let out a surprised laugh, and relaxed. 

Right up until they heard the shouting.  
Quickening their pace, the two came upon a very unexpected sight: Warriors laughing, leaning on a tree so not to topple over, Four already on the ground gasping, Wind looking equal parts adoring and gleeful, Sky as equally distressed, and right in the middle of it all Twilight and the goddess herself, in each others’ faces and yelling.

Wild hesitantly stepped forward. “Um what’s-”

Hylia whirled around, going from murderous to delighted at a truly dizzying speed. “Wild! Great timing, mama wants to commit arson, and I need your help!” She clapped her hands, grinning like she had just suggested going on a camping trip. Twilight immediately grabbed her by the arm and turned to Wild. 

“NO! Absolutely not!”

Wild reflexively took a step back, hands raised, “Wait wha-”

“The Yiga deserve to BURN!” Hylia had returned to hissing at Twilight, eyes narrowed dangerously.

“You can’t just set people on FIRE!” Twilight growled back.

“I have been locked in an endlessly repeating battle with the literal incarnation of hatred and all things evil and bad since before Hyrule existed. I am allowed One crime and I Choose Arson!” She declared, staring daggers. The pair briefly locked eyes and seemed be in a battle of wills, before Twilight turned back to wild.

“No. Neither of you are allowed near fire. End of Discussion.” There was a moment, and then-

“Wait then who’s gonna make dinner?” Wind asked. Hylia turned to Twilight, smug.

“Yeah, who’s gonna cook Twilight? You’re gonna have to let him near a fire at some point- or do you want Warriors to give us all food poisoning?” Now grinning manically, Hylia ignored Warrior’s indignant squawks. Twilight just stared at nothing, already very done with the situation.

“Pardon, but- what just happened?” Zelda squeaked from where she had scooted behind Wild.

They all looked over, only now realizing that Wild hadn’t been alone. Warriors answered first.

“Twi wanted to look at the wild horses, and Her grace dared him to try and catch one, so the rest of us followed to watch him get his rear handed to him.” That got a scowl from the ranch hand, “When we were accosted, and she finally got to meet one of those Yiga traitors.”

Wind jumped in, bouncing with glee, “Hylia ripped his mask off and broke it over his head! And then she kicked him right in the oysters-”

“Wind!” Sky cut him off, scandalized, and then turned towards Zelda. “Needless to say Princess, Hylia was more than a bit displeased with the clan, and perhaps got a bit- um- overzealous. Twilight had to grab her and carry her back to the village. Terribly sorry for the ruckus.” Hylia rolled eyes, and wrenched herself from Twilight’s grasp, bounding towards Zelda

“Well since I’m not allowed to do pest control-” she shot towards Twilight, “-I’m gonna hang out with my descendant. I’m sure we have lots to talk about. Namely heroes and how dumb they are.” she singsonged. Looping her arm with a bewildered Zelda, Hylia began half dragging the princess back to the village, leaving said heroes at the shrine.

Warriors made his way over and clasped Twilight on the shoulder as he groaned into his hands. “Hey, at least she’s not a red head right?”

“Fuck off.” Warriors laughed and started off after the girls.

“ . . . Why oysters?” Wild asked after a long pause, setting Four off into giggles again. Wind just shrugged.


End file.
